#AskUsAnything: Remote Working as a Parent / Carer
We wanted to tackle a topic many parents and carers are struggling with right now. Juggling home, children and home school is an impossible task. Nicky Kemp - Managing Editor of BITE at Creative Brief - moderated our panel discussion. She shared her stories of parenting and working, as well as invaluable advice for both employers and individuals for setting their own boundaries. Nicky reminded us to leave the guilt at the door - parents and carers are facing enough pressure without comparisons or expectations weighing down on them. As she says in her Campaign article, ‘How to fail while working at home with kids’, ‘balance is a concept that has historically been used as a stick with which to beat working women, presumably for the crime of doing what men have been doing for decades: attempting to work while also being a parent. Regardless of gender, the notion that any life will be in a state of complete balance sets us all up to fail. No human being can "have it all" at the same time. The very idea is a toxic myth designed to make us all feel we are falling short. So, in the midst of a global pandemic, perhaps we should finally put an end to the thankless pursuit of balance and instead step up as companies and individuals to support and recognise the innate imperfection and emotional challenges of the juggle. Now, more than ever, "getting it done" is more important than "perfect".’ She also says it’s OK not to be OK and to stop apologising: ‘If that means showing up with an energetic six-year-old and four-year-old in the background, I for one am OK with not apologising for that.’
Our panelist Han-Son Lee - Founder of DaddiLife and Planner at Proximity London - discussed sharing parenthood across the week. ‘WFH becomes much more like W2J (Working 2 Jobs): work and teaching. Co-parenting means a constant juggle between work and life’, Han-Son told our webinar. We know it’s hard for parents, particularly when you’re a co-parent and are shifting between looking after kids for half the week and not for the other half.
Jo Coombs - Chief Operating Officer, Publicis Groupe - talked openly and honestly about single parenting, and parenting neurodiverse children. She told us that her kids have to come first in these confusing and difficult times, as, right now, life and work aren’t as separate as we’d all like them to be. She advised blocking out your diary when you’re not available (which might be at lunch time, taking your kids for a walk, or finishing when they need dinner).
More practical steps for moving forward came from Justin Pahl - CEO, VMLY&R London - who walked us through the VMLY&R Junior scheme. They’re providing briefs for the kids of VMLY&Rs to work on to keep them entertained and creatively-minded. Children, particularly older children, are a constant source of inspiration and innovation - and they’re naturally creative. This is something Ella's Kitchen Founder Paul Lindley also supports in his book 'Little Wins: The Huge Power of Thinking Like a Toddler'
Marvyn Harrison - Strategy Consultant and Founder of Dope Black Dads - reassured us that we have to put ourselves first. If, as parents, we aren’t in a good place, our children mirror our behaviours. As a couple particularly, it’s important to prioritise ourselves and our relationships: we have to put our ‘oxygen masks on first’ before we deal with our families. He advised us to take back control of our diaries and reminded us that not everything is urgent. We might feel even more ‘always on’ now than ever, but it’s sometimes easier to work to a deadline, not to a clock.
This week certainly didn’t play out how we expected, but we’re ready for growth and for putting our energies into working towards being more inclusive of parents in our team. We’re sharing all our takeaways here. And - as always - thanks for coming along and for being part of this with us.
We can’t wait to see you again next week - our next session on Wednesday 29 April, 2-3pm is on Inclusive Remote Working for Line Managers. Register for free here
Find out more about our other online sessions:
For more information on remote working as a parent/carer, we recommend Nicky Kemp’s Campaign article on How to fail at working from home with kids. Our participants also recommended the following resources as partnerships for learning: My Happy Mind and Simply Piano.